Ten Tips For Dating In The Apocalypse
It’s not easy surviving in the wasteland left behind after a zombie apocalypse. You have to scavenge for food, find uncontaminated water, and defend yourself against the leagues of the dead. But there another complication that is often sadly underestimated: dating.
Dating in the After poses a number of challenges for any potential lovebird, and today we have with us Emily and Aaron, the protagonists of After Life Lessons, to tell us a little bit about that, about how to find -- and keep -- love in the time of zombies.
1) Don’t push it, advises Emily. Pretty much everybody is gonna be majorly screwed up now, so you gotta be careful. You never know what triggers you’re gonna hit (pun intended) if you move too fast.
2) If you like someone, tell them, says Aaron. Killing things doesn’t always get the point across.
3) Don’t tell them too fast, though, Emily cautions. I mean, find the right time. Even in the After, even with all the drama and adrenaline accelerating everything, you don’t want to come across as a nutter, you know? Or like you’d basically say it to anyone as long as they had the right parts and still a working heart-beat.
4) Flowers and candy might have worked before, Aaron remarks, but in the After, the fastest way to anyone’s heart is weaponry and food. Got your canned goods and an axe? You’ve got the makings of a great date.
5) Be a hero, but not too much. Emily scratches her head and tries not to smirk, as she works out to make this point: You want the object of your affection to know you’ll do your best to keep them safe, but you still want to be around to reap the fruits of your efforts.
6) Bring wheels, advices Aaron. Girls love cars.
7) Save his life. Boys love having their life saved, Emily cuts in. Wait, no they don’t. But do it anyway, if he’s worth it.
8) Make her smile. Nothing in the After is more important than still having a little bit of humor and hope, Aaron points out.
9) It’s kind of easy to forget about basic hygiene when you’re fighting for your life, and everybody gets that, Emily says. But it’s still nice to make an effort. A girl will notice if you took a bath in freezing water just to smell nicer for her.
10) Don’t wait until you think you’re going to die to be honest. No one likes to get to the end of things and see what they might loose, Aaron reminds us, and Emily slides her hand into his.
So there you go. Ten safe tips for dating in the apocalypse. We thank Emily and Aaron for their help and advise caution when trying these at home!
Hulking shadows emerge out of the chaotic flurries of the blizzard. Something is dying, and so they come, like vultures.
After months of struggling south to escape the zombie-infested remains of New York, a snowstorm traps 23-year old artist, Emily, and her son in an abandoned gas station. Starving and desperate, they encounter Aaron, an Army medic on a mission of his own, who offers them a ride to ease the journey.
The road is a long and dangerous place to travel, and every day brings a new threat. But fear and adrenaline also drive the two closer together; they find laughter and a budding attraction that starts to thaw at their numb and deadened feelings. And that’s when the pain really starts to hit, when places long thought lost prickle back to life. Eventually, they will have to fight not just for survival, but for a future together, or their broken world will swallow them whole.
The AuthorsL.C. and Laila met in 2010 on an online forum and have been inseparable ever since. Having supported each other in their individual writing projects for years, they finally decided to work more closely together in a cross-continental cooperative writing partnership. Together, they host the podcast Lilt and started their micropublishing venture Lilt Literary in 2013.
L.C. (generally known as Lorrie) lives in Denver, Colorado with her husband, kids, and too many pets. Laila is a nerdy German translator, living in Cologne with her kitten and a lot of sparkly lights.