Showing posts with label dark. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dark. Show all posts

Review: It Ain't Me, Babe (Hades Hangmen #1) by Tillie Cole


Sinning never felt so good…

A fortuitous encounter.

A meeting that should never have happened.

Many years ago, two children from completely different worlds forged a connection, a fateful connection, an unbreakable bond that would change their lives forever…

Salome knows only one way to live—under Prophet David’s rule. In the commune she calls home, Salome knows nothing of life beyond her strict faith, nor of life beyond the Fence—the fence that cages her, keeps her trapped in an endless cycle of misery. A life she believes she is destined to always lead, until a horrific event sets her free.

Fleeing the absolute safety of all she has ever known, Salome is thrust into the world outside, a frightening world full of uncertainty and sin; into the protective arms of a person she believed she would never see again.

River ‘Styx’ Nash knows one thing for certain in life—he was born and bred to wear a cut. Raised in a turbulent world of sex, Harleys, and drugs, Styx, unexpectedly has the heavy burden of the Hades Hangmen gavel thrust upon him, and all at the ripe old age of twenty-six—much to his rivals’ delight.

Haunted by a crushing speech impediment, Styx quickly learns to deal with his haters. Powerful fists, an iron jaw and the skillful use of his treasured German blade has earned him a fearsome reputation as a man not to be messed with in the shadowy world of outlaw MC’s. A reputation that successfully keeps most people far, far away.

Styx has one rule in life—never let anyone get too close. It’s a plan that he has stuck to for years, that is, until a young woman is found injured on his lot… a woman who looks uncannily familiar, a woman who clearly does not belong in his world, yet a woman he feels reluctant to let go…


This is one of those books where you berate yourself for waiting so long to read it. I honestly can not remember if I have ever read something like this. By now I've read a couple of MC books, but this takes it to a whole other level. Then that main element of the comune, the brainwashing and all the horror, just gives it a another unique twist.

Personally I don't deal well with extremism in all its forms. So when people start calling themselves prophets, and using that to brainwash people and excuse all the horrible things that they want to do, my skin simply crawls. Therefor there definitely were a lot of parts in this book, that I had some trouble with. Not with the writing, and the way it was handled, because that was all very direct and open. Just the theme on its own wasn't an easy pill to swallow. I would feel genuine anger for all the abuse and misuse in this story.

Though luckily it's a story about overcoming all those things. Leaving that past behind and looking towards the future. Discovering the truth, and rediscovering yourself or in Salome's case just forming an identity. Always being told what to do, who she was and why she was evil, weighs down on you. Now having that freedom means letting all that go, with the help of Styx, and becoming someone new.

Styx has had his own demons to deal with over the years, but by now nobody would dare to cross him. Grown up in the MC, he has known no other way of living. So when Salome enters his life again, she's pretty much the opposite of what he and the MC stand for. The adjustment from both sides isn't easy, but their love is what makes it solid. Styx will do whatever it takes to keep her by his side, to protect her from the horrors of her past in every which way they might come.

That contradiction between the two main characters is so vast, still somehow it works. While Styx and the MC might not be vile creatures, they pretty much participate in all seven sins on a regular basis. Salome though still believes in their good sides, and with all that she's been through she realizes that good and bad come in all kind of forms.

This story deals with some very heavy themes and they are not easy to swallow, but Tillie Cole has approached them in a way that you can deal with it. An unique tale that will stay with you for a while, characters that will worm their way inside your heart and an extremely rocky path that leads to happiness.



Hades Hangmen - Reading order and purchase links

  



The Author
Amazon & USA Today Best Selling Author, Tillie Cole, is a Northern girl through and through. She originates from a place called Teesside on that little but awesomely sunny (okay I exaggerate) Isle called Great Britain. She was brought up surrounded by her English rose mother -- a farmer's daughter, her crazy Scottish father, a savagely sarcastic sister and a multitude of rescue animals and horses.
Being a scary blend of Scottish and English, Tillie embraces both cultures; her English heritage through her love of HP sauce and freshly made Yorkshire Puddings, and her Scottish which is mostly demonstrated by her frighteningly foul-mouthed episodes of pure rage and her much loved dirty jokes.

Having been born and raised as a Teesside Smoggie, Tillie, at age nineteen, moved forty miles north to the 'Toon', Newcastle-Upon-Tyne, where she attended Newcastle University and graduated with a Bachelor of Arts honours degree in Religious Studies. She returned two years later to complete a Post-Graduate Certificate in Teaching High School Social Studies. Tillie, regards Newcastle to be a home from home and enjoyed the Newcastle Geordie way of life for seven 'proper mint' and 'lush' years.

One summers day, after finishing reading her thousandth book on her much loved and treasured Kindle, Tillie turned to her husband and declared, "D'you know, I have a great idea for a story. I could write a book." Several months later, after repeating the same tired line at the close of another completed story, she was scolded by her husband to shut up talking about writing a novel and "just bloody do it!" For the first time in eleven years, Tillie actually took his advice (he is still trying to get over the shock) and immediately set off on a crazy journey, delving deep into her fertile imagination.

Tillie, ever since, has written from the heart. She combines her passion for anything camp and glittery with her love of humour and dark brooding men (most often muscled and tattooed – they’re her weakness!). She also has a serious side (believe it or not!) and loves to immerse herself in the complex study of World Religions, History and Cultural Studies and creates fantasy stories that enable her to thread serious issues and topics into her writing -- yep, there's more to this girl than profanity and sparkles!

After six years of teaching high school Social Studies and following her Professional Rugby Player husband around Europe, they have finally given up their nomadic way of life and settled in Calgary, Alberta where Tillie spends most of her days (and many a late night) lost in a writing euphoria or pursuing a dazzling career as a barrel-racing, tasselled-chap wearing, Stetson-sporting cowgirl... Ye-haw!

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Review: Kick (Savage Saints MC #1) by Carmen Jenner


When I was ten, my father indoctrinated me into the family.

A brotherhood who would fight, protect, and give their lives for one another. A club whose ties ran thicker than blood, murkier than the dirt and grime that tainted my soul. Stronger than the bonds that connected me to my own family.

A band of brothers, where loyalty was kept and paid in a currency of blood.

When I was twenty-seven, I betrayed that brotherhood.

I’ve spent every day since running, avoiding paying back that debt.

My name is Daniel Johnson. I have betrayed everyone I ever loved.

And I’ll betray her too.

This is my story—if you’re screwed up enough to want to read it.


This is one of those books, where I have no clue if I actually liked it or not. I didn't find it spectacular, but I didn't hate it either. The story and characters are complex, to put it mildly. A lot of really bad stuff happens, the violence is off the charts, the abuse is explicit, and the emotional drama might drive you insane.

It's an insanely heavy read. Kick is not a redeemable character, the rest of the MC might be worse, but that doesn't mean that there is any good in him. There is a fine line at the tipping point of cruelty, and he drunkenly criss-crosses it. He has done horrible things, some you may be able to justify somewhat, and the thing is that Kick's a guy that will never change. He was shaped by his father, his MC and all that entails. You might have read MC books, where you had the feeling of an undertone of goodness, that's absolutely not the case here. They are vile, cruel and explosive people.

There is a warning at the beginning of the book, and it's there for a reason. Though for me it's written in a way that I can handle it. There are certain subjects, like abuse, which I have trouble reading about. Still in the way it is portrayed in this story, is sick yes, but there is a certain casualness around it that helps you through it. Casualness might not be the right word, but seeing it in the context and with all that you have read before, it's not a surprise and it's such a part of the characters' daily life that's just sad.

Kick is supposed to be read as a standalone. Now I read the first Sugartown when it came out, but never read the sequels. It's in one of the sequels that some of Kick's backstory happens, and while we get the flashbacks, I still felt that need to read the other book first. I feel like it would still have explained things better for me, and helped me understand Kick's history better.

As for the love story (and I use that term very lightly) part of this book, like everything else concerning Kick, it isn't pretty. I mean she is gorgeous, but her story will leave you at a loss of words. He's her non-traditional savior, though I would never call him a hero. The aftermath of it all is just another clusterfuck.

Couple of words to describe this story and Kick; raw, brutal, dark, emotional, abusive, asshole, graphic, jerk, profane... I feel like I need to point out again that Kick has no good side to him, he has never and will never say the words "I love you" or even "I like you". Carmen Jenner has managed to reach what she set out to do (I'm referring to the author's not at the beginning of the book). I did enjoy the story, though I feel enjoy isn't the right word to use. More like I was able to make it through, but not unscratched. If you want to read this book, and I can recommend it, take heed of the warning, so you can prepare yourself for what's coming.





The Author
Carmen Jenner is a thirty-something USA Today best selling author, doctor, pilot and CIA agent.

She's also a compulsive, flagrant prevaricator who gets to make things up for a living.

While Sugartown may not technically exist, Carmen grew up in a small Australian town just like it, and just like her characters, she always longed for something more.They didn't have an Elijah Cade, though. If they did, you can be sure she would have never left.

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Review: Devil You Know (Butcher Boys #1) by Max Henry


Love.

How do you define it? I guess it’s up to the individual. Love can be a sweet gesture of flowers on your anniversary. Love can be a meal waiting at home after a long day at work. Love can be a gentle caress. Or the unspoken words in your lover’s eyes.

Love isn’t a backhand, given because of a warm beer. Love isn’t wearing long-sleeves to hide bruises from the ladies at the supermarket.

I thought I’d never experience love. Such emotion didn’t seem to fit with what I had—who I was.
But he stepped in, and showed me his.

He pulled me from the dark abyss I had lost myself to, and showed me the simple things which could bring such joy. Sun on my face. The smell of fresh coffee. Colours in the autumn leaves. All the little things.

He shows me these things, but he doesn’t share in them. He knows happiness, but he doesn’t feel it. He will give love, but never accept it.

He saved me. Now it’s my turn to return the favour …


For me personally the worst thing that can happen with a story, is that I can not connect with the characters. Unfortunately that's exactly what happened here, and if I can't connect with a character, then I don't care what happens to them. Which makes it very difficult as Jane is being abused by her husband, and I do feel terrible about that, but somehow the way it was written I didn't care about it.

I was very happy for her when her neighbour came to the rescue. Malice, her prince charming, though he's neither charming or a prince at all. He takes her away from a bad situation, and I admire him for doing that. Having that courage to step up to this bully, and being able convince Jane that she shouldn't take it anymore.

So far so good. Malice takes her somewhere where they can stay low, until all the paperwork is in order and Jane can get herself back on her feet. That's when it went downhill for me. I can understand there is a certain attraction between Jane and Malice, but with his temper and her very recent past it didn't make much sense to me. Maybe mostly it was because Jane didn't behave the way I expected an abused woman to behave, at least not in such a short period of time.

Also there is this push and pull going on between them, that was tiresome and most of all repetitive. I felt like I read the same discussion/argument over five times. There is this mysterious side to Malice, that was always hinted at, but never fully explained to almost at the end. Even when it was from his point of view, he talked more about the horrors in his mind and how he shouldn't be feeling this way towards Jane. But you know, there was just something about her.

What could have been a deep, dark and emotional story, in the end just fell flat to me. The way it was written I couldn't connect with the characters, the dialogues were tiresome and mostly repetitive, and with his big secret I really don't understand how these two people could ever make it work. I know authors can take some unusual situations, and I just go with it, but with Jane and Malice I just didn't see it.





The Author
I rediscovered my love of reading last year after never really having the time with two small children, and in doing so, realised I didn't just want to read the books - I wanted to write them.
So I put fingers to keyboard and wrote. Then wrote some more. And before you know it, here I am now.

I decided that at thirty it was high time to stop living a 'what if' life and give my dreams a chance. Lost deep in thought one day as I walked the kids in their buggy, I realised that I didn't want to be an old lady who sat and reflected on her life thinking 'what if I had tried?' I wanted to be an old lady who reflected on her life and thought 'At least I didn't leave a stone unturned.'

I am me. Life is not to be lived in the shadow of others, doing what you think your peers expect you to. Life is to be lived to the fullest, explored and challenged.

Next time you sit and think 'what if', sit and think 'what if I die tomorrow?' There is no time like the present.

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Review: Three, Two, One (321) by J.A. Huss


ONE GIRL

Battered, barefoot, and huddled under a bookstore awning in the pouring rain, Blue only knows one thing. After fifteen months of captivity, finally… she is free.

TWO FRIENDS

Self-made millionaires JD and Ark are not out to save anyone when they stumble upon a wet and shivering girl one early Sunday morning. But when you sell sex for a living and salvation rings your bell… you answer the call.

THREE SOULMATES

After years of searching, love lifts the veil of darkness, and three people—with three very big secrets—find themselves bound together in a relationship that defies the odds.

Or does it?

Love. Lust. Sex.

This trinity might be perfection… but not everything should come in 3’s.


I'm not quite sure how to feel after finishing this one. It definitely didn't turn out the way I expected, and I mostly consider that a good thing. Though now I'm talking only about the ending, everything before that has me torn.

If you start reading this story, you'll have to be very open minded. JD and Ark, namely make porn. Where JD is in front of the camera with a girl (or two), Ark is the cameraman. They've been doing this for a couple of years, and made a lot of money. The rules have always been the same, but when they stumble upon Blue, something changes. It really just starts as a coincidence, even a convenience for JD and Ark, though very fast develops into something more.

It's not clear where Blue is from, but she's hiding something, though so do JD and Ark. You might want to call it a relationship, though honestly I'm not comfortable using this term when it comes to these three. I was actually all for the dynamic between these three, and the dirty scenes were plenty and smoking hot. Until I read the author's note at the end. Here the author mentions that the sex wasn't important, more a means to an end, and that the motivation for the behaviour was important, that it was about the motivation of people to do certain acts. Except to me that didn't translate well.

To me the focus was very much on the dynamic between these three characters in the bedroom, and not outside of it. The motivation for that behaviour was minimal, or even barely mentioned. It's all clouded in a certain mystery that doesn't get explored enough. So therefor to me if the focus was supposed to be on that, the author didn't succeed, because the focus for me came across more on the erotica. The motivation etc. or overall plot, even seemed like an afterthought.

I also didn't quite feel that connection between the characters outside of the bedroom. At a certain point in the story Blue asks Ark if he actually loves her, or just what the three of them have, because she doesn't get that feeling from her. And I agree with her. I can see Ark cares about her, but I don't see the love from any of them. To me it almost feels as if Blue has another case of Stockholm syndrome, JD is too wrapped up in his own head to really care about someone else and Ark is the protector and keeps a certain distance from everybody.

Throughout this all there is a certain undertone of mystery that very slowly comes into play. Though it's so deep, down and under, that you only realize this is part of the plot about seventy percent in or so. Now I love a good mystery romance, but it almost felt like that part was added in as an afterthought. Or there is not enough mention and development for this story line from the beginning. The focus just suddenly switches from the three of them then to this mystery, without a transition.

Overall I liked the premise of this story, and I liked where the author got the idea from, only the execution was lacking for me. The sex scenes were splendid and extremely hot, and I would have been fine with it if it was simply erotica where the plot line doesn't really matter. Except the author herself mentioned how important the plot line, and mostly the motivation from the characters is, only I didn't see it. For me the focus was certainly on the erotica, and not on the plot. That is what I read, even though the author might have purposed it otherwise.

2.5




The Author
JA Huss is the USA Today bestselling author of more than twenty romances. She likes stories about family, loyalty, and extraordinary characters who struggle with basic human emotions while dealing with bigger than life problems. JA loves writing heroes who make you swoon, heroines who makes you jealous, and the perfect Happily Ever After ending.

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Review: Better when He's Bad (Welcome to the Point #1) by Jay Crownover


Welcome to the Point

There’s a difference between a bad boy and a boy who’s bad . . . meet Shane Baxter.

Sexy, dark, and dangerous, Bax isn’t just from the wrong side of the tracks, he is the wrong side of the tracks. A criminal, a thug, and a brawler, he’s the master of bad choices, until one such choice landed him in prison for five years. Now Bax is out and looking for answers, and he doesn’t care what he has to do or who he has to hurt to get them. But there’s a new player in the game, and she’s much too innocent, much too soft…and standing directly in his way.

Dovie Pryce knows all about living a hard life and the tough choices that come with it. She’s always tried to be good, tried to help others, and tried not to let the darkness pull her down. But the streets are fighting back, things have gone from bad to worse, and the only person who can help her is the scariest, sexiest, most complicated ex-con The Point has ever produced.

Bax terrifies her, but it doesn’t take Dovie long to realize that some boys are just better when they’re bad.


We are used to Jay Crownover to write about bad boys. While in Marked Men those guys have attitude problems, tattoos and are players, in their core they're not really bad. They're even pretty good. This isn't the case with Bax.

The guy is a criminal and has no ambition to improve his life whatsoever. He was just released from a five year stint in jail and his first thought is revenge. Going to jail has left him with some unfinished business that needs tending to. This mostly includes finding his best friend Race and getting rid of his former boss Novak.

While looking for race, he finds Dovie. She's apparently Race's sister. Not quite someone you would expect to find in The Point. While her upbringing was also harsh, she somehow made it out untouched. With that I mean, she has a good heart, is a nice person and still believes in making the world a better place. Bax didn't make it out unscattered, and is someone 97% of the people he meets are scared off for a reason.

It seems everyone is looking for Race though and Dovie wants to help Bax find her brother. She considers Race a bit of a hero for getting her out of a bad situation and well he's family. Things are dangerous in The Point and it seems safer to keep Dovie close to him. Race would never forgive Bax if something happened to his sister.

Though Bax never promised to keep his hands off her. It would be wise for them not to cross the line, but Bax is a bad guy, used to taking what he wants. Things don't just heat up between him and Dovie, it's an inferno. Those intimate scenes were smoking, panty dropping hot.

I liked Bax, though not that I would ever want him to be my boyfriend or anything like that. While I don't believe that he's to the core bad, I do realize he makes bad decisions and does bad things, fully knowing they're not good and not caring about the consequences. He does show a little bit of a softer side towards Dovie, but that only amplifies his attitude towards the rest. If he likes you, you are good. If he doesn't, you better run.

You have people growing up in place like The Point, wanting to do anything to leave that behind and go somewhere better. Then you have people like Bax who just seems fated to stay in The Point forever and live the criminal life to the fullest. What you need to realize is that he will never be a good guy, he just has good moments.

Dovie like I said has a certain innocence about her. Her life hasn't been easy and she knows how to take care of herself. Still she also wants to help people, user her bad experience and turn it into something good. I also liked how she wasn't out to save Bax. She accepts him the way he is, as long as he is willing to do the same and mostly daring to come to her.

All in all I loved this book. Jay Crownover has quickly become one of my must read authors. I really like how in her writing and her stories, she doesn't sugarcoat things. It's all very direct and honest, which often doesn't make it ideal, but it makes it real. To me that is awesome, that realness and with this book even raw. Add those amazing characters with strong personalities and I am hooked.

4.5


Welcome To The Point - Reading order and purchase link

  


The Author
Jay Crownover is the New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of the Marked Men series. She also introduced the dark and sexy world of The Point that started with BETTER WHEN HE's BAD and is currently working on her newest series The Saint of Denver. Like her characters, she is a big fan of tattoos. She loves music and wishes she could be a rock star, but since she has no aptitude for singing or instrument playing, she'll settle for writing stories with interesting characters that make the reader feel something. She lives in Colorado with her three dogs.

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Review: Tall, Dark, and Divine (Bagging a Greek God #1) by Jenna Bennett


Annie Landon has given up on finding Mr. Right, and has gone out looking for Mr. Tonight instead. A conversation overheard in the bathroom of Dionysus’s Bar about a jilted and lonely "Greek god" in need of a quick pick-me-up sounds like just what she’s looking for. But picking up the god of love for a one-night stand is easier said than done--especially when he's sworn off mortals forever.

Eros has been down and out since his ex-wife left him, and falling for another mortal woman is the last thing he needs. Which means a maddening desire for the woman across the street is not in the cards. Thus begins his quest to find a match made in heaven for Annie. It's the perfect plan ... if only Eros can bear to let the girl of his dreams go.

Can a woman looking for love, and a matchmaking god who wants her to find it—with someone else—have a shot at a happy ending, or will Eros's golden arrows miss their mark, for once?

*I received a copy from the author in exchange for an honest review*

Eros a.k.a. Cupid a.k.a. God of Love has been depressed ever since his mortal wife left him to run of with a Viking. Since then he has given up on love and well it has been affecting his matchmaking business.

Meanwhile Annie Landon is all about finding love, but after waiting years for the right guy, she wouldn't mind going for the right now guy like Eros. Which is not going to happen if it depends on him. Eros no longer does mortal women, but he does want to help Annie find love.

After giving it a push it all ends kind of terribly. Annie gets publicly humiliated, giving her confidence another shove down. Eros of course feels terrible and tries to console her. After trying a second time and again ending with the same results for Annie, the consoling goes a big step further.

Still Eros is hell bend on not admitting he might have feelings again for a mortal. So he keeps plotting Annie's love life, with disastrous results and pushing her away from him into another man's arms. It is only a matter of time before Eros comes to his senses and realises he does want Annie in his life.

Tall, Dark and Divine is fun, though predictable. We all know the ending before we start reading it. All the characters are pretty great, but they do lack some depth. Especially Dion will make you chuckle a couple of times.

I did like the idea of the Greek Gods running a matchmaking business and all the drama that comes with it. So a very unique concept, only the execution could be a bit better.



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Review: A Fighting Chance by A.J. Sand


Jesse Chance is a bastard.

And that’s all he heard his entire life growing up once news got out that he was the illegitimate child of womanizing ex-con, Henry Chance.

Stuck in Glory, Texas, a town too small to escape the sins of his parents, Jesse turned into exactly what everyone expected him to be: a lover of liquor and women, and so good with his fists, he became a teenage champion of the secret underground fighting rings that float around the South, while doubting the only people who ever believed he could be more, his ailing mother, and his girlfriend, Drew Hallisay.

But determined to make his mother’s dying wish come true, he enrolled in a college on the East Coast, far away from his past. Jesse Chance is reborn into a new life, and set on keeping Glory, Texas--and Henry Chance--in his rear view.

A visit from his father in the middle of the night changes everything.

Forced to return to Glory to prevent a tragedy, Jesse is soon back on the fighting circuit with Drew's help and facing the history he was so desperate to escape, the part of him he would prefer to hide.

As he slips back into his old ways--Henry Chance's ways--he finds himself torn between the guy he was and the one he’s been struggling to become. And in a world dead set on betting against you, can you ever really overcome your past… or your destiny?


Review

When Jesse graduated he flew out of Glory, never even looking back. He created a good life for him as he is nearly graduating college as an architect and him and his girlfriend will soon be moving in together. Though plans change when Jesse's dad comes looking for him, with news that will draw him back into his old life.

His dad messed up again big time. Henry owes some people thousands of dollars and now they are threatening the life of Jesse's little half brother. Feeling like he has no other choice, Jesse returns to Glory. Even though Henry was never there for her, Jesse can not abandon his little brother. The only way to earn the money is to start fighting again. Then Drew comes back into the picture and it is obvious the attraction between these two never really went away.

Now to earn the kind of cash Henry needs, Jesse and Drew will have to go to Mexico. The fights there are bigger and earn more money. Though soon they are running for their lives from the cartels and the people Henry owes money. 

I really liked the part where Jesse learns to fight against the prejudice of the town. For so long it bothered him and he felt unworthy. This resulted in the cage fights, which were the only moments people seemed to love him. It became nearly addicting. Luckily he was able to let all that go, though he is faced with it again when he returns to glory. This time he knows who he is and doesn't let other people get to him.

There was a lot of violence in this novel and even though fighting is part of the major plot, a lot of the violence felt unnecessary and a bit over the top. I understand the author wanted to really show how it goes down at the underground cage fighting and the life of the cartels, but some parts made question the usefulness of such violence. 

Often it was also one thing after another and just when you think it might be over, another twist was presented. Considering most of the twists were actually the same, the story felt long to me. It could have easily been cut down a hundred pages or more.

I did like Jesse as a character. There was plenty of complexity to keep me interested. The journey he went through since he was a boy to the man he has now become felt real. He shows strength time after time, when anyone else would have given up.

The other characters I did not like that much, because often they felt very cliché. Also they were all so negative, except maybe Drew. This all gives it kind of a down feeling and made it difficult for me to keep turning the page.

A Fighting Chance was a good story, with an interesting plot, though a bit predictable and long, great hero and plenty of action.




A Fighting Chance: Kindle ($2.99)

The Author
A.J. Sand grew up an only child whose parents bought her many, many books to keep her busy, so it was only natural that she would start writing her own stories. She is the author of “Documentary” and the upcoming “Remake” and “Recklessly.” She lives just outside of Washington, D.C.

East Coast bred. West Coast schooled. Fairly sarcastic. A little irreverent. Hopeless romantic. Shamelessly foul-mouthed. She enjoys reading reviews of her books way too much.

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Review: Raw by Belle Aurora

***Author Note: This is not a love story. This is a story of love gone wrong.***

Growing up the way I did, you’d think I’d be more screwed up than what I actually am.

Soon as I turned sixteen, I left that bump in the road I called home and took my chances on the street.

Best decision I ever made.

Now, at the age of twenty six, I’m educated, employed and damn good at my job.

My friends have become my family. Like me, they know what it’s like to grow up unloved.

But the saying is true.

The world makes way for those who know where they are going.

That’s me.

I know where I’m going and I’ll get there eventually. On my own terms and at my own pace.

But then there’s him.

I feel his eyes on me. I see him hiding in plain sight. He watches me.

He makes me feel.

It’s unconventional.

But it’s real.

I’m sure you’re wondering how a person falls in love with their stalker.

So am I.

This isn’t a story.

This is my life.

Review:
The title really delivers on the story. When I finished the story I found myself raw. My heart was beating faster than normal, my emotions seemed to be heightened and if anyone would have started talking to me I don't think I could have said anything back.

That tagline on the cover and the author note are very true. You go in still hoping for a HEA or at least some overall good feeling. Nope, not the case here!

Another warning I feel should be ushered with this book that there are a lot of very mature scenes in this book, not just sexual, but also violence and psychological.

Lexi has had a stalker for nearly a year and instead of reporting him, she hasn't done anything. He has always kept his distance and she gets the feeling that he will not harm her, that he is actually there to protect her, like some guardian angel. Which turns out to be somewhat true. When Lexi gets attacked, her stalker saves her.

Now I can understand she feels gratitude towards him and even feeling somewhat safe. Still letting him inside your house and sleep in your bed for the next week seems like a big jump for me. It was one of my biggest issues. If they met pretty much any other way, I could have understood it more. This is the first sign that whatever will happen between these two is not healthy, at all.

I wouldn't say they get to know each other slowly. It's more like he already knows everything about her, she knows next to nothing about him and what happens between these two is very dark.

Lexi is an amazing woman. She is strong, passionate, has very strong morals, still somehow she ends up with a guy like Twitch. Also she does things she would have never expected she would ever do. There were a lot of scenes I kept wondering why she was doing this and that she must realise this is toxic. Belle Aurora adds that very beautiful in the book. Indeed Lexi's conscious has issues with what she's doing and we get to follow her inner thoughts. This all helps us to understand the dynamic between Lexi and Twitch. It is still so wrong and unhealthy, but I can understand it better.

Twitch isn't your regular bad boy. He is truly bad. He is a criminal and a sociopath. The man is wrong on so many levels, still I could see the appeal. His way of thinking was very twisted. Not just in every day events, but also his view on relationships and his morals were all turned upside down. The guy doesn't deal with positive emotions very well, he doesn't understand them so he turns them into negative emotions, which he can understand. With anger being the foremost. Anger management classes wouldn't cut it for him and he needs help badly.

These two people should not be together. They are toxic for each other, pretty much the whole relationship is physically and mentally unhealthy. Still they can not let each other go. They are addicted. If one of them would try to walk away, the other would break and never be whole again. There is a lot of pull and push between them, always aiming for that breaking point. This all leaves you constantly on the edge, wondering what is going to happen next.

Then that last 10% of the book, I admit I was crying the whole way through. No spoilers, but the intensity of the entire story and characters will leave you feeling vulnerable. Raw was such an amazing read. If I could give it six stars I would. This is a book you won't forget easily, not even if you wanted to. It doesn't just take Lexi and Twitch out of their comfort zones, but also you as a reader.

It isn't a real love story, but a story about love and how fucked up it can be. You get thrown on a wild ride that will leave you roughed up and not sure knowing what do to now.

I think I need some more time recovering from this, talk about a book hangover!



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